No, I’m not pregnant. Just wanted to throw that out right up front. 😉 But, there seem to be an awful lot of people in my life (and my Facebook feed) who are pregnant. It’s gotten me to thinking:
Pregnancy is all about context.
You can get away with so many things!! Yeah, being pregnant can be a lot of work, and some stress, and some exhaustion. But most people give you so much leeway when you’re pregnant!
If you break down crying for no apparent reason in the middle of laughing yourself silly, you’d better be pregnant. Say you’re pregnant and all is forgiven. Don’t have that to fall back on and people are going to look at you a little funny. And possibly start backing away slowly.
If you take multiple 2-hour long naps each day, you’d better be pregnant. Otherwise, somebody is going to call you lazy or suggest that you seek medical attention.
If you want to wake your spouse up at 3 o’clock in the morning to tell him you’re just DYING for some lobster (yeah, I did that), you’d better be pregnant. If you’re not, it’s probably not going to end well. As it was, I almost had the poor man in tears. I didn’t just want lobster, I was desperate for lobster. He was totally willing to get me some, but he had no clue where he could go at 3am to find lobster. (The irrational and completely craving-driven part of my brain almost suggested he hop a plane to Maine. I resisted.) Thankfully, for both of us, the craving had passed by the time I woke back up for the day.
If you want to put peanut butter on your steak, you’d better be pregnant. Or live alone. Your choice, really.
And, my personal favorite:
If you want to pee on a stick and then wave it in someone’s face, you had BETTER BE PREGNANT! I mean, really, why do we think this is a good idea? And, yeah, I totally did that. You pee on a stick, it comes up blue/plus sign/pregnant/baby booties/whatever, you start waving it in people’s faces. Ideally your spouse’s, but other people who happen to be in the vicinity may get the same treat. The weirdest thing? They’ll not only accept you waving this pee stick inches from their noses, they’ll CELEBRATE with you!!
Yeah, pregnancy is weird. And it’s all about context. 🙂